Love Languages = Self-Care

By Ethel Barnes

Practicing self-care is challenging for some because it requires an understanding of yourself to know how to fill a particular void. You have to figure out what means the most to you and why, then find a strategy to display or communicate those feelings.

Though we pride ourselves on showing up for others, how often do we apply what we desire from others to ourselves? Love languages are a good way to explore how you can take care of yourself.

You can take a quiz to find out what your love language is here with descriptions of each love language in the order of significance.

Words of Affirmation

Those whose primary love language is words of affirmation value positive phrases to uplift themselves or another person. Unsolicited compliments mean the world to those who value this type of love language. Keeping an affirmation journal nearby, a poster board full of inspirational quotes, or downloading an app that sends daily affirmations may be useful. Recording voice notes or video journals to yourself are also creative techniques if you prefer audibles.

Quality Time

Quality time is centred around togetherness and giving your undivided attention to others by engaging in quality activities or conversation. Spending quality time with yourself can involve making yourself dinner, watching your favourite movie, going on a walk, journaling, or reading a good book. The list is endless however, a good place to start is by asking yourself “how do I enjoy spending time with others and in what ways can I do those things alone?”

Acts of Service

This non-verbal form of expressing love is described as doing something you know a friend or family member would appreciate. It is an action that can ease the burden of responsibility off of someone. To grasp what acts of service are suitable for you, it may be good to consider some things you have been putting off, for example, dedicating a portion of your day to clean your room or run errands.

Physical Touch

Though physical touch is usually associated with sexual energy, a person who values this type of love language can also appreciate receiving or giving thoughtful touches such as hugs or holding hands with a loved one. These can all be ways to show excitement, concern, or care and fosters a sense of reassurance and belonging in any relationship. For those whose love language is physical touch, you can consider the feelings you get when you exert physical energy. This can relate to fitness, how you dress and pamper yourself, for example, massages, manicures, baths, or body oils to provide a sense of comfort.

Gift Giving

This type of love language thrives on the thoughtfulness and effort behind receiving or giving gifts to others. Gifts are a visual representation of love, and the perfect gift shows that you are appreciated or cared for. If this is your love language, you can create a wish list of things you want to gift yourself, whether it is a luxury item or flowers every once in a while.

Of course, these examples will look different for everyone and only you will know the significance behind the gesture associated with your love language.

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